Mom! That's the Arcade Game..ON NINTENDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Part 1

Arcade games were always something cool and new in the 70s, 80s and most of the 90s. Quarter sucking, at times cheap, but always fun and addicting games filled the halls, rooms or whole buildings full of these cabinets of  AWESOME. Problem was after you left the arcade you were left wanting more, and you had 2 base options... spend/seek more money, or hope there was a port for your home pc or console. Atari, Commodore, Coleco, Nintendo, they all had different arcade port offerings but the N.E.S would for a very long time reign as the console that had the widest variety of ports.
N.E.S ports were known for either being as direct as possible, having some re-tooled game play, a good sized overhaul to make the games more fitting for home use (more levels etc) or were just games "based" on the "arcade smash" which usually meant a massive retooling / re make of the game concept. Let's explore a few of the arcade to n.e.s ports that I feel where awesome whether or not they are direct ports or "based on the arcade game". Soon enough I will do a post about some of the dung pile arcade to N.E.S ports that were also out there, but today I want to talk about the good stuff! Prior to going on I'd like to add that I have played and completed both the arcade and N.E.S ports of all the games mentioned in this post today, so no talking out of my ass here.



Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Arcade Game (Known as "Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles: The Coin OP" in EU Regions for personal home pc ports, Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles 2 the Arcade Game for the EU/PAL N.E.S, Known as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in it's Arcade Form and as TMNT 1989 Classic Arcade on Xbox Live, PS2/XBOX ports via unlock feature in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 Battle Nexus for those consoles)

-Arcade, NES, Amiga, Amstrad CPC, Atari ST, Commodore 64, DOS, ZX Spectrum, PlayStation 2, Xbox, GameCube, XBLA, Virtual Console Arcade-

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was a runaway smash cartoon series, excellent toy series, awesome comic book series and it was also a crazy chaotic arcade game by Konami one of the arcade leaders and favorite 3rd party developer/publisher in the N.E.S era. Four player Mayhem, great soundtrack, smooth action, and just some un-nameable cool feeling that you were kicking so much ass were some of the perks that made this game so great, but yet the N.E.S was stuck with a average generic adventure game featuring the Turtles. Soon enough hungry N.E.S gamers would get their wish with a port of the arcade TMNT game called Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Arcade Game! and it came with free pizza in the form of a coupon for a free personal pizza from pizza hut, fuck ya!

TMNT2TAG was no mere direct port, while trying to be as true to the game as possible Konami (ahem sorry..ULTRA... post on this later)knew that many a game before it had raised the bar on how to do arcade to N.E.S ports and Konami delivered. New Levels, redesigned enemy placement to avoid technical issues (slow down), slightly more difficult enemies to make up for the mass amount of enemies that would rush you in the arcade game, new bosses, and slightly tighter control! Awesome as all this was the only bummer dude type moment came from the lack of 4 player support in this cart but at least we had a two player option which worked well and I am sure was only due to again technical limitations. Pizza eaten, hours left behind, a few "ACK No's!!" later you were left feeling that while the odd smells, the loud ambient noises and sticky floors were missing, you were happy as could be with this fun, well done and most of all GNARLY port.

Arcade






N.E.S







Contra
-Arcade, Famicom/NES, MSX2, ZX Spectrum, Amstrad CPC, Commodore 64, MS-DOS, PlayStation 2, Xbox 360 (XBLA), Nintendo DS, Virtual Console, Mobile Phone, PlayStation Network-
(Known as Gyzor in EU)

Contra was not the most popular of arcade games, while not to say it was a dud it was just not exactly one of Konami's super titles in terms of popularity. Personally I would say that I only liked Contra as much as I did since it was constantly in rotation at my local laundromat. Packing at times hard to avoid enemy placement that required some memorization, but yet very enjoyable spaz type play that grew on me the game had some decent twitch factors to it. Learning the game over time I was able to beat it with at the most 2 quarters and I was quite happy with that (rastan was another one that I was sooo happy to beat) but sadly while I had heard of Super Contra, I could never find a Cabinet Having beat it so often thought left me a bit 'meh" when I saw a N.E.S Contra at Sears one day but curious enough I scouted a rental copy and that's when I really came to the conclusion that some arcade games found a good swift shot of new life on the N.E.S (though this early on I had been burned by some shitty ports)

Right as you jump into the game you get that already familiar feeling of smoother yet tighter controls that was a staple in good/great arcade to N.E.S ports. Oddly enough while the truth would be that graphically Contra (and most if not all ports) were inferior on the N.E.S, Contra just had a look that felt so perfect and looked more so perfect for the game. Levels were slightly extended in size, not much enemy compromise (numbers) and if anything the powers up felt better planned out/balanced. My only worry were the "3D" levels that were in the arcade game. When I saw these levels in action in the N.E.S game I was blown away (later I learned about MMC's) and by the time I sorta woke up from my "WHOA!" trance I realized just how well fleshed out the game was! More challenging than the arcade game due to bigger level size and just much more atmospheric than it's big brother Contra found a whole new life of it's own on the N.E.S. Searching for Super Contra was not an issue for me no more, I would wait for the N.E.S Port!

N.E.S










Arcade






Double Dragon 1-3
-way too many ports to name all the platforms-

Double Dragon, the series name alone speaks mass amount of praise and even some dreadful hate among arcade goers of the 80s. Love it or hate it, you heard the name, seen the games, played them or heard stories about other players encountering some glitch, beating a nearly perfect score or how they took no damage etc etc. Double Dragon II would continue said urban legacy with a new control scheme and slightly tougher enemy patterns and more swarms of em to deal with at a time, oddly enough Double Dragon 2 cabinets did not seem to circulate as much as original Double Dragon cabinets but I managed to sneak in some time with the game. Double Dragon 3 upon first look seems so different, sounded so different and had some whacked out story that seem to fit better in a cheaply written book than the beloved beat em up series. EGADS man what the hell did they do to the game? Enough about what the games stood for in the arcade scene, let's get into theme here shall we? the awesome N.E.S ports of the series, amazingly enough even Double Dragon 3 gets it's ass saved thanks to the N.E.S

Double Dragon on the N.E.S followed what was the most common formula for N.E.S ports, make up for the technical limitations with deeper game play, more levels, varied A.I. Digging past this all we also fin a new game play mode simply called Mode B, which was a simple 1 on 1 mode where you could choose from either of the lead characters or 4 enemy characters from the main story mode. Mode B included rather impressive graphic use for the N.E.S at the time, though the A.I was rather unfair and over powered. Double Dragon's main mode also changed around the game play enough to have it stand on it's own merits and even  well past those of previous games that raised the bar for ports. Arcade players would recall having no limits on the moves the characters could perform, however the N.E.S version adopted an experience system which would award you with new moves as you gained levels. Frustrating at first but it also taught you how to play the game better so as to earn those perks or suffer (per se). Overall in my opinion and other's Double Dragon not only followed a good idea on how to do ports but also paved the way for changes that could improve an already great game. Based on the arcade smash became a phrase that could honestly mean "AWESOME" vs "oh crap it's another pacman for the 2600 repeat!!!!!!!!"

Double Dragon 2 hit the N.E.S hard with another build up on the previous formula for improving an arcade to home port while making the technical cuts seem null. Name alone drove the games popularity and it's a good thing that the name could sell the product as the game now had it's north american box tagged with "Acclaim" a publisher that to the hard core, could mean a garbage game or a hidden gem. Acclaims marketing muscle was put behind the game in full blast but once again in gaming when you are tainted as a publisher, that's that! Double Dragon 2 once again gave us extended levels, and slightly altered A.I, more missions, and polished game play that made Double Dragon a hit but lacked that Mode B form the previous game....instead we got CO-OP! Difficulty as in the first game could be unforgiving to the casual crowd, but was a lot more balanced with less spotty moments (Minus the platforming portions like the conveyor belts or those stupid spikes) and you could even inflict friendly fire (er damage). Rewarding (or challenging ..to me it was a reward) good players was a final level that was only accessible by playing the game in it's hardest difficulty which even included a whole new final boss and awesome theme! Double Dragon 2 fixed all the mistakes of it's arcade counter part (IMHO the arcade game was good but was just more of the same) but also like the previous N.E.S version added more life into the series. Beat em up 101!

Double Dragon 3 was a disaster in the arcades, from the crappy "credits' store which would even charge you real money for weapons, the odd graphical style (static images looked ok..motion looked like someone was hitting pause a lot, aka choppy) and the questionable story and music pretty much doomed the game. Acclaim once took the N.A publisher reigns for the title but thankfully once again it was only the publisher. Ads were all over the place, tv spots ran very often, the game play footage seemed to mimic that of the arcade game, my heart sank.. I would rent this before buying. Lightning was seen in the sky a third time around, however the thunder was not as awesome. Double Dragon 3 for the N.E.S was a great game in every right, and while the port was another fixer up, the core elements were not too far changed from 2 and the remaining elements from the arcade version did not really help the game. Story was just too complex for the fighter, the additional characters while they felt less tacked on than in the arcade version just felt tacky and tolerable at best. Game play while not a huge departure from Double Dragon 2 was a bit smoother and was nearly perfect in response, but there was just not enough charm in this title to really make it better than Double Dragon 2. Efforts seem to be too focused on re-tooling the game too heavily in efforts to fix the mess that was Double Dragon 3 in the arcade, and while I can appreciate the efforts, the magic was not there anymore. Double Dragon 3 was a perfect example on how to fix a bumbling mess and brought justice to the franchise but as I said before the remaining taint of the arcade game that was left in, soured the game a bit. IMHO too much time and effort was spent on fixing it and not adding features or making the levels more enjoyable as in the previous two efforts. Great, but not classic.

Double Dragon (NES)

Double Dragon (Arcade)

Double Dragon 2 NES

Double Dragon 2 (Arcade)

Double Dragon 3 (NES)

Double Dragon 3 (Arcade)

Honorable Mentions

Ninja Gaiden (Series)

 Ninja Gaiden Started off as generic but somewhat challenging arcade beat em up,but sticking with the formula for N.E.S ports the game took on a whole new life, the game play was heavily modified, levels so much larger, bosses were something else and the game was balls to the wall hard! While I loved a challenge the difficulty was so mind boggling at the time and combine that with the fact that a lot of jumps were laced with almost unavoidable hits and you got a few reasons to put this series down a tiny notch but even then the series remains a test for skill. Xbox, and current gen versions hold the difficulty legacy true.

Punchout!! (nes on top)

Punchout got a rather faithful conversion as far as the core game and looks go. Game play was simplified a bit to fit the N.E.S controller but remained mostly intact. More variety in fighters was tossed in along with adding a bit more personality to those that made the cut to the home cart. Mike Tyson was even tossed into a particular run of the game. Great example again on how to do ports. Missing voices somewhat changed the overall experience of playing the arcade game but honestly this would have been too hard on the hardware and while it never ruined the game, somehow I always missed them. On it's own the game stood out magically and would end up becoming one of most beloved N.E.S games, ever.. Period.!

Tons of titles were cut from my original post idea but I think I will take a friend's idea to split it up, since some of titles that fell in my list under honorable mentions really do deserve a dedicated write up. Part 2 of this particular topic will happen soon enough as I honestly want to improve on my formatting here a bit and also not subject so many titles to simple write ups. Today's post was done out of love for doing this here blog, today should have been my lazy day to do nothing but instead I will post up dlc for this and yesterday's post by tonight! Thank you for reading as always and before I forget...

Can anyone tell me what is REALLY going on here??

Sonic The Killer App

Growing up as a kid when it came to gaming I always found that there was 4 types of "kid", the Nintendo owner.. which was the common breed, the Sega Master System owner... who was the guy who tried to be cool (and had a small right to be), the Atari kid who we all laughed at or admired for his taste/passed on console, and the P.C gamer who we all called nerd or buddy! Nintendo had Super Mario and Link, hell even the bikes on excite bike were recognizable by kids. What did the other giants really have? Sega had some recognition in Alex Kid, and their SMS ports of arcade sega hits but that's about it, Atari had many ports of arcade classic but uh the quality was iffy at best, the pc had many original and hardcore titles but no real name recognition, save maybe for some rpg's for older kids/teens.
By the 16bit era, a few other mascots would try to knock Super Mario from his throne some even making their home/debut on the N.E.S, (Capcom trying to jump start Captain Commando as a on paper mascot etc) and even Bonk took a shot at that throne! Bonk was a big head to tangle with but just did not have that much of an umph to really knock down the fat mustachio icon, out of the blue (pun) though came Sega to remind us that their Genesis console was here to FIGHT and not long before Mario would make a new smash re-debut in 16bit, Sega Gave us Sonic The Hedgehog. Honestly I will say I was not Sonic's first fan, but on a trip to TJ to see family, a cousin of mine brought his genesis with him, and after a few runs at sonic and hearing the awesome soundtrack, I decided that I needed to once again put my industrial side to work and amass a small mini jackpot for a Genesis, a few core games I had seen in Game Pro and mostly Importantly, Sonic The Hedgehog!

Sonic The Hedgehog
Mega Drive/Genesis,iPod, iOS (iPhone, iPod Touch, iPad), Mobile phone, Microsoft Windows, Virtual Console, Game Boy Advance, Nintendo DS (Sonic Classic Collection), Xbox Live Arcade, PlayStation Network, Android (Japan only)[1] Sega Saturn, Dreamcast, Nintendo GameCube, PlayStation 2, Xbox, PlayStation Portable

From Sonic's somewhat eye catching pudgy design, to the at the time amazing (and even still) soundtrack, the smoother than silk (mostly lol) controls, and the speed at which a real dedicated player could play..Sonic quite frankly slapped Super Mario across the face like a upstart brash pimp. Let's not lie the Genesis had a strong line up with somewhat decent Arcade ports, some niche sports titles, and the core titles that the N.E.S lacked but something was missing, there was no real killer app, Columns was being touted as a killer app but mostly to compete with the Tetris affect of the Gameboy, Sega had nothing. Sonic was just a wonder of art for gaming at the time, even the small details like Sonic getting impatient to the facial expressions, to the level design/art was something to behold. The "Zones" each had a life of their own, even the less colorful but still awesomely done Industrial type zones just screamed out "YA We are here to rock your thumbs off!". Sonic The Hedgehog (the game) would go on to garner mass critical acclaim, and mass fan recognition and give Sega that image it needed..an attitude vs the Nintendo "Power". Soon though the SNES would arrive with an already successful and well documented Japanese pedigree via the Super Famicon and start a gaming generation war like no other....Sonic would be one of the many Generals to fight that war.

Sonic CD
Mega-CD, Windows 9x, Nintendo GameCube, PlayStation 2 (Japan and Europe only), Xbox Live Arcade, PlayStation Network, iOS, Android, Windows Phone 7, Steam

Two years after Sonic's first put up his white gloved dukes and the battle lines were well drawn, Nintendo delivers a major hit with the SNES and has a good share of attention but the Genesis has somewhat taken over as king in most fans and critics eyes, however the first party assault from Nintendo along with at times superior 3rd party ports are starting to catch up to Sega. Sega never afraid to try new things released it's CD-ROM add-on to the Genesis, the Sega-CD. However fan adoption was low, shitty full motion video powered games and a few decent ones were not really enough to feed fans in between the few awesome original Sega CD titles, Sega needed a Boom.....a Sonic Boom. Sonic CD was that boom, new animations for Sonic, a game play scheme with made every level re-playable with a twist, cool looking but awkward bonus level design (LOL), amazing soundtrack and that awesome art style all made a smashing re-debut for a add-on that had so much untapped potential. Personally I still remember trying out all the variations to each level before fully feeling I had beaten the game though I had done so a few times and every single time I still recall asking myself how can someone keep re-inventing this and always making it seem so fresh. Sadly Sonic CD was not enough of a big cannon shot to secure the Sega-CD a real place along the 16bit battle front lines the damage of both the price, and other shitty titles was done. Sales of Sonic CD were also under expectations and if I recall correctly when the Sega-CD was redesigned, Sonic CD was either included in the box or was offered via a voucher or something of that nature for free. IMHO this would be the last major major awesome Sonic game for the 16bit era, a war that Nintendo would win but never with the dominance it won the 8bit war.

Sega would never really bring the same sonic charm back in full swing for the 16 bit era, Sonic the Hedgehog 2 was more than a deserving successor and was fresh enough but it was lacking a bit, Sonic 3 was a departure in many ways but not a bad departure just felt somewhat forced, Sonic And Knuckles would be the next title that put some welcome innovation into the series for this era and as a bonus would allow you to use the Knuckles Character in your older Sonic titles. Try as they may and by the time the dust settled in the 16bit war, and the countless Sonic sequels and so so to good spin off's came and went, Sega would not deliver us another good batch of Sonic goodness until 1999 with the Amazing Sonic Adventure which much like Super Mario 64 brought Sonic into the realm of 3d but unlike Super Mario 64 retained enough of it's grass roots in 2D, in which IMHO made it a better re-invention of the series. Sadly this formula would again last for a bit before it was ruined and would not see another decent addition to the franchise (not to say Sonic Adventure 2 was Crap)...this time for over 4 years with 2003's Sonic Heroes and even that was only a real teaser as to what could be if that same spark that lit up the genesis in 1991 were to light up again. From 2003 on, many more teases at another major revival for Sonic came and went and some were utter disasters 2006's "Sonic The Hedgehog" being the worst and 2010's Sonic Colors being the only one that made most real Sonic Fans Smile (NOTE I LOVED Sonic 4 Episode 1 but seems I'm in the minority) However in 2011 a chaos emerald would arise from the dust............

Sonic Generations
PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, Microsoft Windows, Nintendo 3DS

We'll leave this one for the dlc shall we?










Until then, go play a Sonic game and tell me this...
who the hell is this croc?

Gun Smoke did it, RDR reminded us!

Blog DLC Here!(Click for direct link/download) or view streaming below!

Cowboys, cowboys, cowboys, the name alone instantly makes you think "Movie, Books, Songs, Games, Legends, Stories, Bad Ass" but realistically it's all about Western lore. Most of you who may read this may remember small shreds of shows like Bonanza, Gun Smoke, Lone Ranger and even that dreaded cartoon Bravestarr. Gaming is always a powerful platform to convey a story or topic, even before the days of CG and scripts for games, one of my preferred character leads were cowboys and my 3rd favorite setting was the wild west/country. Red Dead Redemption finally gave the lore a good place in today's gaming era, and maybe the best in gaming history but without those that came first, would RDR still be here? Lest we forget the first game in the series never was, but alas it was and we can only be thankful for that.

Let's talk Red Dead Redemption and it's serious side and it's "LOL" side. Let's talk about the games that came before it and what they brought to the table. Finally let's talk about a few other honorable mentions that I did not choose to go into detail about, not to say they may not be covered in the DLC later! Game on!

Red Dead Redemption
XBOX 360, Playstation 3

Red Dead Redemption was being hyped as the next big thing from Rockstar, a company known for it's great open world titles laced in bullshit and drama, from hot coffee, claims of under paid/overworked staff even down to Jack "Jackass" Thompson talking shit. Following up the saved by Rockstar Red Dead Revolver, it was a surprise to fans that Rockstar was going to take this into a HTA direction (Horse Theft Auto) but not a shock to Rockstar loyals. Movie caliber trailers, word of mouth from critics, and the overall "omg it's Rockstar" push led RDR to get a following all of it's own before release, and finally the day would come when the game would reach our hands. (or as in my case, some of us got it a week early..TY unnamed gamestore :D)
John Marston from the get go of the game strikes you as a character that seems in many ways a lost heart looking for something, but at the same time has a face that says "don't fuck with me" a combination that any family person would know is lethal and a lethal man(character) he is.
Spending a few minutes with John you can't help but notice that even plain dirt and grass seems to be alive in the game world, not to mention how even some of the generic npc's seem not so "cookie cutter" however it's after an hour or two that you forget you are playing a game and just want to keep seeing more of how John is trying to make his situation work. Shaking out of the story line and plot you may ask yourself "what now? the hell do I do in this world?" and that my friends is the tip of the iceberg!. Open world gaming is something that is really free and captivating to those with imagination or and while yes there is a story to it, RDR feels so free  even more so than GTA or a Saints Row game in the sense that it's a simple man, a horse, some guns and your imagination vs a man, nuclear caliber weapons and a whole car dealership.
Taking to the online reigns of the game bumps things up a whole new notch, be it in a private session with some good friends or if you dare go up a bit more and try a friendly free roam session with other anon gamers where no one can kill you... or hey maybe you are the best dead eye pistolero (gunslinger) out there, so why not go hardcore were precision aiming, and no noobs need apply! Players can choose to follow icons and markers to sub games within the map which offer some variation to king of the hill, domination or even just good ol' death matches or you can just go out there and create you own games! Sounds pretty much "rule" based minus the make you own games part right? Nope! Such an ambitious game is bound to have some flaws and those can actually be a game of it's own if you know how to make a stage coach pop out of thin air after triggering the bug or if you know what rock to stand on to avoid being punched you can have some nice shoot the shit type of fun!
Red Dead Redemption is as serious as a game gets when it comes to story, design, and attachment to a character yes, but in the end it's really a simple canvas for you to have your own fun and make your own way. Many will argue you can say the same for other open world/sandbox type games but something about this world just seems so much more organic and free. Personally I just like the random glitch where I'll be set on fire and run around in said condition for about 20 minutes much to the laughter of my co-op partner and anyone else within range of the action! JUST SAYING!

Gun Smoke
Arcade, N.E.S

First off let's get one thing clear this was your standard Arcade to N.E.S port in which back in those days, most developers/publishers tried to make up for some of the technical shortcomings on the N.E.S by either giving the game longer levels/more levels or beefing up the mechanics some more. Gun Smoke was a vertical shooter in which you basically had to keep up with enemies while using 3 way gun fire (angle left, angle right and straight up center)and remained so in the N.E.S port, the only changes being some cosmetic changes to the bosses, a reduced number of said bosses and if I recall right, fewer levels. Changes to game play were present in the n.e.s version like having to buy/find a wanted poster to be able to face a level boss, a shop, added weapons and the use of ammo for said new weapons. Gun Smoke was fairly challenging and with the N.E.S port since the only had 2 action buttons, to shoot straight up/center you would need to push both buttons together something that in a panic moment or for the less agile would be killer. Mechanics were great for the time and to be honest still hold up today, very fun, not too twitchy and seems so honestly smooth which in those days controls were often enough somewhat iffy! Maybe this was capcom's early early start up towards Red Dead Revolver and while I know Gun Smoke was one of their most loved titles, I gotta wonder why they ditched Red Dead Revolver and passed it on to Rockstar, what if Capcom had kept the franchise? What if.....

The Lone Ranger
N.E.S (NA only)

Konami could always make a solid N.E.S title out of most any license and somehow they always felt like an older Konami title. Lone Ranger always gave me a slight Metal Gear Vibe while not all Metal Gear (well some of the 'in town" portions gave me that vibe) but was a solid action/adventure title, focusing on simple action, some very obvious "questing" and the very generic npcs which such dialogue along the lines of "someone in this town his a reliable tip, you should talk to everyone" but the game was fun. Combat/action was not totally perfect but it was good, not too hard but not a total cake walk. Konami was always known as a developer/publisher who could push some good visual and audio flair out of the old N.E.S and this game was not their best tile to showcase that but both visual and audio flair were well above the rest of the N.E.S pack in most cases. Simple, decent story/plot and a name most who most of us growing up had heard of this, this game was a silver bullet all of it's own! Tonto included!

Last I will just say a few quick words on a few other honorable mentions and one which I am not sure why or how the hell it's still around today.....

Wild Guns
SNES

A steampunkish take on the wild west, Wild Guns was a fixed camera take on shooters ala games like the Arcade Cabal or one could even say NAM 1975. Fast paced, somewhat challenging and very vibrant and with a good audio blast to it, Wild Guns was a highly overlooked title. Got a wii? Check it out on the VC, or better yet, hunt down the cart and a buddy! You won't regret it, however one of you may argue about who gets to be the lady or the man :P


Tinstar
SNES

Tin Star was another somewhat overlooked title even though it was given that 1st party Nintendo Push. Tin Star was an on rails shooter (think lethal enforcers, resident evil chronicles etc) in which the levels were split up into a practice type scene, a faster paced portion, a one on one shoot out and a bonus part which had to be unlocked within a level but hell if I remember how o_O. The art style in this game was great if not fantastic! Cartoony and a less serious steampunk take on the wild west, if the game had cows in it it would remind me of cowboys of moo mesa. Great title, and hell it even supported the Super Scope 6 and too boot the even less popular SNES Mouse!

Mad Dog McCree
Arcade, 3DO, CD-i, DOS, Mac OS, Sega CD, Windows, Wii, ios

No just no, while I know some of you enjoy these types of games, this is a sub genre of "FMV games" that nearly killed the idea of using video in the first place. How the hell this has kept some sort of popularity or niche audience is beyond me. Go away! BLEH!







Expect dlc soon covering this title...

As always the closer!
Name this bitching 80s game and it's RAD 80s hair packing female character in this pic!

K.I.S.S

BLOG DLC IS HERE NOW! (click here for direct download) and streaming below!

Keep it Simpson, stupid! So anyone remember the mass Simpsons branding wave of products in the early up to latel 90's? (of course it's still common) Notepads, bedding, lunchboxes, music videos, self adhesive bandages, body products, vhs tapes, albums and of course video games. Acclaim was a monster when it came to licensing movies, shows, comics, etc etc when it came to gaming, some of those marriages worked fairly some well.. ya not so good. Nintendo Power spoke of a upcoming Simpsons game and while reading it, I am not sure if i skipped the part that said Acclaim or if I was just hopeful somewhere later in the article it would read Sunsoft or something. Ay Caramba what a ride this was, some solid, some god awful and some well actually pretty fucking good, here are a few key titles with as little banter as possible on em as I really don't want to cry today!

Bart Vs The Space Mutants!
Amiga, Amstrad CPC, Atari ST, C64, Game Gear, Genesis, NES, SMS, and ZX Spectrum

Solid at core, Bart vs The Space Mutants was not a bad debut/outing for the brand in the world of gaming, while the controls were a bit off and not as smooth as could be, it was not super stiff or butterball greasy either. Some of the goals were a bit unique and added a bit of a touch of "hmm" to each level,which made for a bit of decent variety! Music was decent, sounds were actually nice. Many have dubbed the difficulty hard, I say suck it! (followed up by bart vs the world, a total P.O.S in my opinion)



Bart Simpson: Escape From Camp Deadly

After a solid or decent outing on the n.e.s with BVTS I was hopeful that this would be half as decent. Whatever they did on the n.e.s version is all but gone here but alas I was a dumb kid and played it through. While not total garbage this affair is one I'd rather forget. Game play was mostly full of cheap hits, some rather whacked out hit detection and just seemed like they wanted a quick licensed buck. Period! (followed up by a bunch of other not so great titles like Bart vs the Juggernauts? O_O)



Krusty's (Super) Fun House
Amiga, NES, IBM PC, Sega Master System, Game Gear, Game Boy, Super NES, and Mega Drive/Genesis

Now here was a gem in the dark! While my early on (and current) thought of this game was that it was a mere take on Lemmings I still had to at the least give this a rental as I was a huge fan (still am) of the Krusty The Clown character. Hours into my rental I was still hooked, while not exactly the best challenge in the world and not at all lemmings (in a sense) the game was fun. Levels were distinct enough from each other to keep you wanting to see more, the learning curve was good, music/sfx were fitting but not a masterpiece. Ah Simpsons branded Rat Trap what a dream you turned out to be, a good licensed Simpsons game. (Too bad your eventual 16 bit follow ups Bart's Nightmare and Virtual Bart were more than nightmares)

The Simpsons Hit And Run
PlayStation 2, GameCube, Xbox, Windows

Honestly this could have been called Grand Theft Simpsons or Simpsons Theft Auto, which is not a BAD THING! Borrowing heavily from the GTA III formula, this game gave the Simpsons a open end world to romp in, while keeping a previous driving element found in a previous game (Simpsons Road Rage) mostly intact but with major tweaks. Springfield never looked so alive and the game had a lot of personality in the character dialogue and interactions. Gameplay was the best to date in any Simpsons game and in a way still the best to date due to the fact the both the exploration and driving aspects differ enough from one another and give you a sense of 2 styles of play. Personally I argue that this is the better of the 2 good Simpsons games out there but the next one is not without it's merits!

The Simpsons Game
Wii, PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, PlayStation 2, Nintendo DS, PSP

While having a more fleshed out feel than Hit and Run, and the writing feeling a bit more professional and focused than Hit and Run, The Simpsons game just does not feel like a total labor of love (and THIS is said IGNORING the developer and publisher name ty!) as it just retooled the godfather engine vs a total overhaul that was seen in Hit and Run. Level variety and the creatives twists put into the platforming and the focus on pseudo "teamwork" made the game a solid outing game play wise but I still feel it just lacks the overall UMPH of Hit and Run. Full of many puns, cheesy Simpsons pokes at modern day pop culture and honestly creative elements this game stands out as the best Simpsons Tie In but IMHO is the 2nd best Simpsons Game today!


Well there you have it, Expect DLC for this entry later today, hopefully with 100 percent less cock!


For today's ? This man asks.. "I been hit so damn hard and so damn often for nearly 28 years now that I have forgotten my name, now before the wine buzz wears off, can you tell me my name?"

The things we do for gaming

Blog DLC here! (direct download/mp) or youtube embed down there!

Feeling rather lazy today, so rather than be totally creative mind wise I will just bore you all with a few memories! Growing up as a kid I never had a need, that I can be very thankful for. Wants on the other hand were always there, wants would mostly be granted on those "days": birthdates, christmas, graduations etc. Allowances were tiny for me, gaming was my 1st of 3 main hobbies so money was divided up BIG TIME for me. Improvising was something I learned early on, as well as many ways to make spare money on the side and I gotta say, if not for gaming those perks would either have never developed or would have done so much much later in life.

The Legend Of Zelda:

The Legend of Zelda was my second N.E.S games and I have to say in a way was almost a deterrent for me when it came to gaming. Can still remember that trip out to K-Mart (yea K-Mart, screw what you say that place is a gold mine to find LE's, etc) and looking over the glass display case with all the N.E.S games, none had a price all looked tempting..some with funny box art, some with serious box art, however that gold box and the fact that it stated "legend and maps" on the box got my attention. Twenty bucks in pocket, a promise to have tax covered by my mom I kindly asked the clerk how much this tempting treat was.. "I believe that is 59.99 let me check, oh sorry 69.99" I WAS crushed, sheepishly I thanked him and informed him I would not be buying it and walked away shocked, a bit defeated but I still wanted it!
Sitting in the car on the way home I had time to think, as my uncle would always drag us out to an K-Mart about 90 minutes from home, was gaming just too expensive a hobby? Why does that game need maps, and I liked legends! Inspiration pretty much hit me as my sister threw a empty can of pop at me to wake me from my thoughts, and for some reason I remembered my grandpa always saying that he bought his monthly round of used books, baseball cards and a crap load of cigs from scrap metal he sold. Being too young (in my mind) to go around collecting metal, from that moment on I took to collecting my own stash of cans, bottles, cardboard, tin, and even paper.
Needless to say I mostly did this on the low, making sure to keep from biting into my grandpa's or dads own collection of recyclable stuff, hiding it all in a old fridge box that had been in our garage for as long as I can recall.
Upon filling up the box plus another small box, I fessed up to my uncle who was more than surprised and while laughing his head off helped me to sell my goods. While not sure of the exact total between the original 20, some allowances and the sold goods I was to buy the game, get an extra happy meal, starting saving for R.C Pro AM, and had some pocket money. Two months of being shady and sneaky but man did it feel good! Future gaming purchases took upon this task as well as asking for odd jobs helping my uncles and gramps with their grease monkey work, something which in the end sped up the process way more! Sometimes I wonder if all that junk really netted me what in my mind today (with simple math) totals up to be around 70-80 dollars or if my uncle padded that amount, he always told me that he did not, but knowing his good nature I am somewhat positive he did.

Here's the parting shot for today, renamed so as not to give it away..... decided not to do audio, guess I got demotivated all of a sudden... hope ya'll enjoy

Hangover Postin'

Hopefully this stay's mostly PG-13 to R, as I am feeling the banging of Thor's Hammer and that of a fat cow all over my head right now! Since my brain is not exactly being massaged by muses or getting the best treatment right now, I am going to stick to a simple formula today, gonna pull a few titles from my collection 1 NES era, one 32 bit era and one current gen and say a few words on it. Last but not least I'd like to say this... last night was not all It could have been, and that's why I have a hangover, had it been what it could have been I'd still be too wasted to be hungover!

Muppets Muppets I love the Muppets! From the TV show, Muppet Babies, Seasame Street, Muppets were the shit! Having seen a "talking" Sesame Street N.E.S game in a store once I was HEARTBROKEN that it was for smaller kids, so HAPPY day when I saw this..of all places in my mom's avon catalog..THAT should have been a sign! Needless to say I found the 59.99 plus crazy avon tax and 2 weeks later I had this thing in my hands, still recall thinking "OH neat No.1" thinking they were going to make more! Popped it into the old deck, hit the power button and braced my self.
Egads Man! The controls, the presentation, the animation (or lack of) all the things that I had only heard of through friends, all the things that made up a "bad game" sitting in front of me on my zenith! Sad, astonished, and most of all STILL happy that it was a Muppet game I trecked on. Sadly Kermit's raft ridde and Fozzie's maze (to name a few) were too much for me and I never reached the point of trying to save Ms. Piggy! Muppets you were my first BAD N.E.S game, SHAME ON YOU!

I am gonna sum this up in a short way, I WANTED this to be like the arcade version of this game, as I could never spend more than 5 minutes on it! So wanted this to be like that, I wanted to learn the insane juggles the crazy cancels! Seeing this bad boy sitting in the circuit city glass case (smaller CC which kept games in a glass case)I was so giddy! Plopped my 59.99 and kept pushing my mom to hurry up and leave her shopping till later!
Excited I nearly frisbee'd my copy of Mortal Kombat 3 out of my ps1 and popped in this. Capcom Logo appears, YAY, ....wait...intro seems different and cheesy music from movie.. no crappy midi street fighter theme like on the arcade..ok ok np.... OH there's a story mode! ...OMG........this is...SUPER TURBO in digitized disguise! Good enough for me, screw the arcade game!

Burnout to me was always about the pre-determined crash courses and the crazy speed routes on a race, while I will not lie I often thought of what the series could be totally open-world I always thought It'd be more problematic than good. When the demo hit pre-release on live I got it with high hopes and honestly due to the fact that I did not much bother paying attention to what was being said about the game in the intro etc I found it be problematic and I felt like it would not work long term. Months later I'd re-download the demo and actually pay mind to things and try to follow through with what was being said, thought it would at least maybe let me see the core of the re-tooled gameplay and once I had that down I could understand how this would work and why it had gotten so much praise.
Burnout Paradise turned out to be just plain out fun, with so much structure to it that responds both to being followed and broken, total freedom to accomplish many of the goals in either the right form or balls to the wall wrong form. The atmosphere in the game world is not only fitting but it's alive, every turn every twist you can tell that when the design team took this task upon them they really thought out "WHERE would this kind of event FIT perfectly what paradise can we F*** up?" Got a next gen console or pc? TRY THIS! Racing fan or not!

Today I leave you all with one question...name this sprite!